Eyes, Look Your Last
by Moonchild707
Summary: Edward's gone, Jake won't speak with her and now Bella's alone. As her depression hits rock bottom, she realizes there's only one way out of this hell now- to end things herself. Sad, set in New Moon. B/E
1. Chapter 1

**Eyes, Look Your Last- Chapter 1**

BPOV

Nothing.

I had nothing.

Emptiness surrounded me as I laid there, completely alone and completely, irrevocably heartbroken.

_He _left me.

Alice left me.

They all left me.

Now Jacob left me.

My love, my best friend, my family, and my sun all left me alone- wanting me to rot in this misery I was doomed to. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want anyone to dissuade me from the guilty pleasure I would soon attempt, and I hoped they'd be happy here without me.

My room was a mess as I slowly stood myself up in the pigsty I'd created over the past few days as the loneliness had resurfaced and pulled me into its depths like a suffocating ocean of despair. I needed out of this endless misery, and nothing could stop me from getting what I wanted.

"Bella?" asked Charlie as I came down the stairs, tearful and red eyed, not looking at him. I couldn't face Charlie and do what I was about to do, and I needed this done.

"Bells?" he asked gently, stopping me as I tried to pass by him.

"Dad." I said emotionlessly, making him frown and sigh, opening his mouth to talk, coming up empty.

"I love you." He said gruffly, making sad tears come to my eyes. This would kill him.

"I love you too dad." I said shortly, leaning in for the last hug I'd ever give him. He patted my back gently and took a good look at me before he sighed.

"Has Jake called?" I asked, wondering if he wanted to talk me out of my endeavour.

"Sorry." He said, shaking his head. This was putting a strain on his relationship with Billy too- all the more reason to speed things along.

"Ok." I whispered, wanting my Jacob back. Charlie nodded and sighed.

"I'm heading up to bed." He said, yawning. He'd worked nights last night and I was thankful for that.

"Have a good sleep." I mumbled, making him stare. I felt talkative, knowing my words were limited. I would do this, and I would put everyone- myself included- out of their misery and let them get on with their lives.

"Thanks." He mumbled, just as awkward as I was. He nodded to himself and sighed, going up the stairs and into his room, closing the door. I let a tear fall, knowing that would be the last time I ever saw my oblivious father again, and if there was an afterlife, I'd cherish that memory of him. I wanted him to be happy…

I walked down to the kitchen slowly and sighed, looking at the phone on the wall. I walked over and picked it up, listening to the dial tone for a moment before I sighed and shook my head. Jacob wouldn't return my calls.

I wanted to see him face to face.

I grabbed the one thing I would need and stuffed it into my schoolbag by the door- Charlie's loaded police pistol from his gun holster on the hook. He trusted me so explicitly, and I felt a strange twang of guilt knowing that I was betraying his trust. I stuffed it away so I couldn't see it and grabbed my schoolbag, going out to my truck.

I sighed and started up my loud beast, knowing how I wouldn't hear it again after this, unless I managed to talk to Jake. If I spoke to him and he wanted to speak to me, then I might reconsider this, but as of now, I had nothing. He had been my everything since _he _left, and I'd been a fool to let Jacob be my rock. I should have known not to trust him, even if he'd begged me to open up. Good thing I didn't…

I drove out of the driveway and away from my oblivious father, down the highway towards the La Push reservation. It was a cloudy Saturday, so Jacob had to be out of school…

Hot tears fell down my cheeks as I thought of how many good times we'd shared before he started to shun me- pushing me away from him. As stupid as it was, I needed Jake more than ever now, and not having him was killing me- literally. This would be the last day of my existence, and I wanted to see him one last time.

Tears spilled onto my cheeks as I drove, making me sadder and sadder as I passed the beach- and our log. We'd spent so much time there, and I'd been so grateful to him… Where had _my _Jacob gone? Where was the Jake I'd grown to love and care for? Now, all that was left was Sam's Jacob- the cruel, angry version of the boy I'd adored for so long. My friend- my own personal sun- was gone now, and with him went my happiness and will to live. I'd relied too heavily on him to care for me as I'd wanted, and now, he was gone too.

I drove down the unpaved road that led to his small house and I was flooded with memories at the old building that housed my fondest memories of this place. I could see the garage in the back with the motorbikes glinting through the open door, but there was no mechanic to accompany them- no smiling face to care for their rusted wheels and broken engines. Where had my Jacob gone? I felt the painful sobs racking my small, fragile body as I crumpled in the seat, trying to compose myself enough to see him- the Jacob I longed for. I needed my friend right now, and I could only pray that he'd accept me back. I didn't want to be broken anymore, but this had to end.

I plucked up some courage and marched out of my truck, careening to the door of the house, where Billy would be waiting. With shaking, frail hands, I knocked loudly, trying vainly to staunch the tears that soaked my cheeks. The door opened and I was faced with a stunned Billy, looking me over carefully.

"Bella." He said worriedly, taking in my dishevelled, pale appearance.

"Is Jake here?" I asked in a choked voice, making sigh. He shook his head silently and looked at me again, openly staring.

"Do you know where he is?" I asked, looking hopefully at my father's best friend.

"No honey." He said kindly. "Go back home to Charlie." He said, earning him a wail of despair.

"Bella…" he said, silently pleading with me not to be difficult.

"He promised." I whispered, making Billy frown.

"He what?" he asked gently.

"He promised not to hurt me. He lied." I said simply, making Billy tear up.

"No honey. Just go home and forget him." he suggested.

"Forget him!?" I said hysterically, making Billy sigh and fall silent.

"He's no good for you." He said.

No one was good for me. Not Edward, not Jacob, not Charlie, not anyone.

"Billy please." I begged, wanting to fall to my knees and beg him to find my sun.

"Sorry honey." He said sadly, patting my arm. "Go home." He said, kind, but very firm and unrelenting. I felt the hole in my chest tear back open, making me fall to my knees.

"Whoa." He said worriedly, leaning over in his chair. I let out a loud wail and he patted my head gently in a soothing gesture that failed miserably. I let out a torrent of sad tears as Billy tried to soothe me.

"I'll call Charlie." He said sadly, trying to get away.

"Charlie's sleeping." I said sadly. "Leave him alone."

"Bella, sweetheart, you need to leave and go home." He said gently.

"Fine." I said, realizing the truth. Jacob wasn't coming back to me. Just as I went to get up, I heard a sigh from Billy and a loud growling sound behind me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" demanded a low voice- one I used to adore and laugh with. I turned around and was faced with five men- all angry and upset, but one stuck out from his friends.

Jacob.

"Jake." I choked, making him scowl. He started to shake slightly and Sam Uley put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. Jake stared me down- his usually warm eyes cold and malevolent- determined to be harsh. I managed to stagger to my feet and walk towards him, right as the leader- Sam- stepped in front of him.

"Leave." He ordered, pointing me to my truck. I stared at him. He was _not _Jacob.

"What did you do?" I snarled through my hysterical tears.

"Bella go!" hollered Jacob, sounding more angry than I'd thought. He was quaking now, and I didn't care.

"You promised." I said, my voice cracking and more tears falling. In that moment, a flicker of pain- pain and regret flooded his features, but he quickly masked it with anger again.

"I lied." He said simply. "Now go."

He lied to me. Jacob, my own personal sun, my best friend, lied to me. I thought I could trust him.

I really was alone.

I stared in shock at the angry face of my former friend, wondering what had happened. What had happened to the gangly boy that had been fixing bikes with me under our fathers' noses? Where had my kind, funny friend gone? Where was _my _Jacob?

"What happened to you?" I demanded, making another flicker of emotion pass through his face.

"I grew up." he said darkly, making more tears fall.

"You were my best friend Jacob." I said tearfully, staring at him. "I loved you."

"Bella." He warned, sounding more like his old self before Sam shook his head and he turned cold again.

"Go." He said, harsher than ever. That one command was my undoing.

I knew it had to be done now, no matter who tried to convince me otherwise.

"Goodbye Jacob." I said sadly, my voice breaking as he stared me down, watching me march back to the truck he'd fixed for me before I'd even befriended him. He stared at me with his cult behind him, all five half naked boys glaring in my direction as I took one last good look at the friend I thought I had before speeding out of the driveway- down towards the beach. _Our _beach.

Jacob was gone.

That really hit home as I drove, pushing my ancient truck to its limit until I hit the sands of the beach, skidding to a halt as the tears overcame me and I slumped down in my seat, crying my heart out.

I grabbed the schoolbag off the floor and dove into it, my hand making contact with the cold metal body of Charlie's weapon as I pulled it out. It felt heavy in my hand but my strength held as I held it firmly, opening my truck door, not even bothering to close it behind me. My schoolwork blew out around me and I saw my English paper fly up towards the cliffs in the seaside wind, but I couldn't bring myself to care. No one would ever read it anyways, and I didn't care if it got lost in the woods or wherever it was headed now. Maybe someone else could use it and benefit.

I walked until I found our spot- the log where we'd spent so much time chatting and laughing together, not caring that the hole in my chest tore back open and left me drowning in misery at the thought of what life had stolen from me. Life had stolen so much, and now, I would steal life.

My hand was shaking as I brought the metal weapon to my head and held it there, unsure what to do. I knew it was ready to shoot as it always was, and Charlie had given me a gun lesson once before so I knew the basics of how to work it. My finger reached for the trigger as I held the gun to my head.

I had a small epiphany as I stood there on the beach, gun to my temple, ready to pull the trigger.

_They'd all broken my heart, so now I would do it for real…_ thought my rational side. I slowly shifted the gun from my head down to the left side of my chest- right where the broken, tattered organ kept me alive and pumped blood through my body- the thing I wanted to stop.

Billy.

Charlie.

Renee.

Rosalie.

Jasper.

Emmett.

Carlisle.

Esme.

Alice.

Jacob.

_Edward._

The names and faces flowed through my head, focusing on three in particular- my two best friends and my one and only love- the man who held my heart and tore it to pieces. Alice's happy face found me and I smiled gently, knowing how she'd found her happiness in Jasper- the man she adored with every fibre of her being.

"I love you Alice." I said to the wind, wondering if she could see me now as tears fell for both of my dearest friends- both of whom had lied to me. They'd betrayed me, and now here I was with a gun to my heart.

"I love you Edward." I said, choking out the name that haunted me. His glorious face overtook me once more as his anguished voice urged me to put the weapon down- to rethink the life I was about to end.

"Sorry Edward." I whispered to the sad voice pleading with me in my head. My finger found the trigger and I pulled it without regrets, feeling the sharp pain before the darkness came, sending me into bliss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Eyes, Look Your Last- Chapter 2**

JPOV

I watched her face crumple pitifully as Sam's hand restrained me from going to her- I was dangerous, and she needed to get away. I knew I was hurting her, but she was strong- she would heal from this heartache and get over me, as much as I wished she wouldn't. I wanted her to persist and come back to me- just so I could be selfish and love her as I'd wanted. My dad watched from the porch as she stared at me, tears falling down her pale cheeks.

"Goodbye Jacob." She said, her voice breaking and more tears falling. I knew it hurt all of us to see her like this, except Paul maybe, but it was what had to be done. She needed to get away from me and if me staring her down until she left was what it took, then so be it. She clambered into the ancient truck I'd fixed so long ago and sped off, pushing it to the max as she took off towards the beach, by the sounds of things. Well, it wasn't home, but it was better than here.

"There." Said Sam, looking as if some nasty business had been taken care of.

"Poor thing." Said dad sympathetically, glancing at me sadly.

"You did good, Jake." He said solemnly.

"Call Charlie." I suggested tonelessly, making him sigh.

"I was going to but she didn't want that." He said. "The least we can do is let her be for now." I felt Embry pat my back pitifully, knowing how I wanted Bella to be a part of my life. I fucking hated this goddamn wolf shit, and I wanted out.

"Jake." Said Sam sadly, seeing the resentment in my eyes.

"You can't do anything about it so stop." He warned gently, not unkind.

Fuck you too, Sam.

"Stop being such a girl." Said Paul scornfully, making me shake again.

"Fuck you." I said passionately, marching away from my pack, towards the end of the driveway.

"Don't start you two." Warned Sam, displeased with our attitudes.

"Whatever." I muttered, sounding every bit like the girl Paul accused me of being.

"Jacob, are you hungry?" asked dad, trying to distract me.

"Not really." I lied, knowing full well I could eat the entire house's stock of food right now.

"Sure you aren't." mumbled Jared, looking at me closely. I snarled and he held up his hands in surrender, not wanting to fight me. I stopped being an asshole and turned, walking back over to Sam- my Alpha.

"Come on Jake." He said gently, ushering me into my house. Billy was about to turn to go inside when we all heard it- a deafening, cracking boom, sounding sickeningly like a gunshot.

"What the hell…" started Billy, staring in the direction it came from. Sam perked up worriedly and moved away from me, looking towards the sound.

"That came from the beach." He said, worry lacing his voice.

Bella was at the beach.

"Fuck." I said worriedly. Was she hurt?

"Go see Jacob." Said Billy, worried and scared by the gunshot.

"That was a gun." Said Embry, stating the obvious.

"Come on." Said Sam, ready to do his job- protecting the people.

The entire group followed Sam as he sprinted towards the beach in full on authority mode- his mind probably reeling with thoughts about what could have caused someone to shoot a gun on the beach. It had echoed loudly off the cliffs, and I'd be shocked if the entirety of La Push didn't hear it.

We ran towards the sandy beach and I took a big whiff of the air, wondering if bloodsuckers were behind this. When I inhaled, I wasn't met with the sickly scent of their kind- but the rusty, salty, metallic smell of blood.

Human blood.

"Someone's hurt." Said Sam, catching on at the same time as I did. Paul looked unusually grave as he ran, not being an idiot for once in his life. Soon, we arrived on First Beach, and when we did, I was floored.

Bella's truck sat in the sand, parked and silent with the driver's side door open, her school papers flying everywhere. I stared for a moment before I scanned the beach for the source of the noise.

There, on the white sands of First Beach was Bella- motionless and gory- blood pouring out of her chest in torrents.

"Shit!" cried Embry, rushing forwards with the other four. As soon as I saw her there, I halted and stared.

Beside her was a gun- a black pistol, sitting in her limp, ghostly white hand. I stared as Sam shouted orders, undoubtedly panicking, but I was too shocked to care. I stared stupidly for a moment, gaping at her bloody chest when a thought struck me.

Was she dead?

No.

She couldn't be… dead… could she?

Before I could register anything, my legs darted forwards and I pushed Paul out of my way violently, making him tremble but not phase as I took her pale face in my large, dark hands. Her skin was cold and white- not a good sign.

"Bella?!" I shouted, hysterical and sad. Tears started to pour down my cheeks and Sam simply glanced at me, taking her wrist gently. He felt around and I stared at him, making him frown as he went to her neck instead.

"Call 911." He said softly to Jared who took out his phone, dialling the number.

"Jacob." Said Sam, gaining my focus. He moved my hands and leaned over her, listening to her face.

"She's not breathing." He said.

"She's not- what?" I asked choppily, panicking.

Bella wasn't breathing.

Bella was _dying._

"I can't find a pulse." He said gently, sounding sad and regretful as he watched her face for a moment longer, taking her sweater from under her to staunch the wound.

"CPR?" he asked me gently, making me stare.

"What?" I squawked, making him sigh and nudge me out of his way. I fell back in horror as he staunched the wound gently and pressed down on her chest, trying to keep her alive. Her blood soaked his hands, and I moved to her face, tapping uselessly on her cheeks as Embry and Paul watched, leaving the phone to Jared.

"Shit." Said Embry again, mollified and sad. Sam compressed her chest dutifully as Jared spoke worriedly to the phone operator, looking at the scene in front of him.

"Give her a breath." Said Sam suddenly, glancing at me. I stared and gulped, tilting her chin to block her nose as I forced a breath of air into her, noting how many times I'd dreamed of putting my lips on hers.

"Come on Bells." I urged, speaking to the corpse we were trying to bring back to life. The more Sam worked, the more blood flooded onto my hands and I was soon covered in her blood- and I knew we were too late.

Bella was dead.

Sam stopped working and sighed as the ambulance workers came onto the scene- me having completely missed the sirens that accompanied them.

"We'll take it from here, son." Said a man, moving me out of his way as I stared in shock. Tears poured down my face as I glanced at the gun, a sickening thought hitting me all at once.

The Forks PD logo shone at me mockingly from the black gun at her side, and I knew it was Charlie's gun.

Bella had done this to herself.

When that thought registered, I felt a violent urge to be sick and I darted for the cliffs, letting my stomach churn all it wanted as Embry came to comfort- always quiet and serene.

Bella had _killed _herself.

Because of me.

Oh shit.

"Jake?" asked Embry, his voice low and sad.

"That's Charlie's gun." I choked out, making him stare and turn. He glanced at the PD logo as well and blanched, looking at me.

"Fuck." He said lowly, watching as they put her limp body onto a gurney, a white sheet covering her beautiful face.

That's right. I thought she was fucking _beautiful._

"Jacob." Said Sam's hoarse voice, looking at me closely. I suddenly felt a rage I didn't know I possessed coming up like a wild beast, shocking my entire body.

This was _his _fault. Fucking Sam Uley and his fucking pack of _dogs._ If I would have been there- if he would have let me keep my promise- she would be alive. She wouldn't have gotten desperate enough to shoot herself and she wouldn't be _dead_.

"Fuck you!" I hollered, turning my rage on him.

"Fuck you and this stupid pack shit!" I roared, making him sigh and back up as I advanced on him. He wasn't scared of me, but I could care less about scaring him.

"She's dead!" I roared, tears overcoming me as I caught sight of the stained sand- the sand stained with her blood.

"Jacob calm down." Said Sam gently.

"Fuck you!" I shouted again, right before I shoved Embry out of my way and ran. I ran into the trees we'd come through, making my Alpha sigh sadly with his own tears of regret and sadness- not that I could find time or compassion to care. I couldn't even find it in me to phase in this condition, knowing that would just make everyone in the pack miserable. I roared in frustration and grief as I punched a tree, cracking it clear in two and sending the top half flying across the forest. I suddenly found myself in my front yard, where dad was talking to Harry Clearwater on the stairs.

"Jacob." Said dad worriedly as I came forward, crying and as bloody as an axe murderer.

"What the hell happened?" asked Harry, glancing at me worriedly.

"She's _dead!" _I yelled, making both of the old men jump.

"Who?" asked Harry, obviously concerned.

"Fuck!" I shouted, beside myself as I flopped down to the ground, feeling as if someone had torn my heart out and ripped it to shreds. The hole Bella had claimed to have had suddenly found its way to me, and I realized what she meant. The sobbing started up and Billy caught on.

"Oh shit." He said, tears pooling in his own eyes.

"What?" asked Harry, unhappy and scared.

"She didn't…" said Billy, trailing off, looking at me.

"She's dead." I repeated.

Bella was dead. _My _Bella ceased to exist. My friend- the one girl I'd actually liked being around- was gone and dead all because of my rejection.

Because I'd told her to leave.

Because I broke my promise.

"Jacob." Said Billy, wheeling himself closer.

"Fuck off." I snarled, shocking Harry and Billy both.

"Has someone called Charlie?" he asked, his voice breaking at the thought of his friend's sorrow.

"No." I admitted, knowing Charlie Swan had a right to know that his only daughter was dead.

"Harry." Said Billy, looking at his friend.

"Who's dead?" asked Harry gently.

"Bella." Said dad carefully, making me groan in sadness as Sam poked out of the trees, every bit as gory as me.

"Sam." Said Billy, looking at my Alpha closely.

"Come on Jake." Said Sam, making me shake violently.

"Fuck off!" I roared, even angrier with him than before.

"Stop it." He ordered, tears falling from his own eyes.

"Charlie Swan is on his way here." He said sadly, making Billy groan as Harry stared in pure shock.

"What happened to Bella?" he asked, aghast.

"She fucking shot herself!" I hollered at him, making him stare.

"Because I told her to get lost!" I said, taking my part of the blame. Bella may have pulled the trigger herself, but it was because of me that it happened.

Me and _Cullen_.

I was just as much of a monster as he was.

Sam lifted my sobbing form to my feet and walked me towards the house where I sat down on the steps, letting my tears fall, regardless of who made it their jobs to stare. Sam watched in sympathy, Billy cried in his own right, Harry stared at me in shock and the rest of the pack- all four guys- were here now, all staring. Embry looked sadder than any of the others- Sam included- since he was my best friend and he'd known Bella a bit.

"Jake." Said Embry sadly, coming closer.

"No." I said, refusing to let him near me. He just nodded and stayed back, not wanting to make a scene in front of Harry. Just then, sirens were heard and Charlie's cruiser pulled in showing me how good of a driver he was. He skidded to a stop and nearly dove out of his car, tears falling down his worn face as he stared at us.

"Where is she?" he demanded, refusing to believe she was dead.

"Gone." I croaked, making him stare in shock before Harry walked forwards and slowly patted his back.

For the first time in history, I watched Bella's father break down right there, the heaviness of his loss hitting him hard.

"Charlie." Said dad, wheeling his way forward. Harry helped him into the seat of his car and he cried like a baby again, his sobs echoing through the air around us. That only made my guilt worse as dad and Harry tried to calm him down.

"My baby…" he choked, truly sounding like a lost father. I'd never seen Charlie's paternal side, but I knew now how much he truly loved his daughter, and I knew he wouldn't get over this. He soaked his dashboard and steering wheel with his tears, not looking up when his deputies pulled in, uniformed and confused as they saw their chief at his worst.

"Chief?" asked one, looking curiously at Charlie.

"Go." Croaked Charlie, pointing the man away. He just nodded and sat in his car, radioing the news of Chief Swan's daughter's death. Charlie glanced up and saw me, his stare cold and a little angry.

"Why wouldn't you talk to her!?" he shouted, getting out of his car as Billy moved aside, knowing he had to do this. That only increased the tears and made him stop shouting at me, looking sorry and sad.

"She loved you Jacob." He said sadly, shaking his head at me. He glared harshly at Sam too as Harry steered him inside the house, not bothering to ask me to move. When Charlie saw my bloody hands, he lost it again, knowing whose blood it was.

Charlie slumped down onto our couch and I fell to the stairs, the both of us succumbing to the misery we'd been dished out.

All because of me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Eyes, Look Your Last- Chapter 3**

APOV

"I love you Ali." Said Jasper fondly, moving his pawn forwards, giving me the perfect move. He smiled wistfully when I moved my own pawn forward and took his, knowing exactly what he'd do next.

"I love you too Jasper." I said quietly, smiling up at my husband. I really did love Jasper with all my heart, and I felt bad for being a less than happy wife in the past few months since Edward had dragged us away from Forks. Jasper said he understood why I was sad, but I knew he wished I was happier than I'd been lately, so here I was, playing chess to give us a sense of normality. Jasper and I often played together in the past, so now, it just felt right to do it again.

"Glad to hear it." Said Jasper, moving his queen to the side to block my route to the king. I smiled and sighed, simply moving another useless piece forwards to block him in return. He smiled a perfect, calm smile and I sighed, knowing he'd move his castle next.

I smiled when he did.

"Thanks Jasper." I said, stealing it with a move he hadn't foreseen. He frowned indignantly and sighed, laughing a bit before we heard melancholy music come from the house- blaring classical piano from Edward's bedroom. Carlisle and Esme had convinced Edward to come back to us last week, and I had to say, he was a mess lately. Moping and shutting himself up in that bedroom all the time couldn't be good for his mental health, but he was grieving- grieving for the one he'd left behind to live her life as a normal human.

Fool.

"Alice…" he growled loudly from his bedroom, making Jasper frown indignantly at him.

"Don't." I said quietly, moving my knight forwards.

"Alice…" he said sadly, warning me not to bother my unpredictable brother. I _wanted _to bother him- to bring him out of this horrible depression he'd plunged us into, but there was nothing for it. Only one person could break him out of that shell- and that was Bella herself.

"Alice!" he hollered when I thought her name, making tears pop up and a frown appear. Jasper sensed my sadness and hurt so he came and hugged me, leaving Edward to his own devices for now. He'd deal with Edward later.

"Ali." He soothed, sending some waves of calm my way. Just as he said this. Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme appeared in the yard, just getting home from their weekend hunt.

"Oh my God." Mumbled Rosalie exasperatedly, looking at Edward's window.

"Rose." Scolded Emmett, sounding sombre and unhappy with both his wife and brother at the moment. Rosalie was being deliberately insensitive and Edward was being moody and misunderstood, so between the two, being in the house was almost unbearable. Even Esme had taken to outings lately with Carlisle so she could avoid her badly behaved children.

"Alice…" soothed Jasper again, making me shake slightly. How I wished I could _really _cry…

"I miss her." I said pitifully, making Jasper's eyes darken in pity for me and rage towards Edward for causing me such pain.

"I know darlin'." He said gently. "I really do." I sniffed- an unnecessary gesture.

"He'll come around." He soothed gently, making me nod.

"I know-" I started to say, right before I was cut off by a violent pulling in my mind- one that came with unwanted visions. I gasped and felt Jasper hold me up as I dove into the near future- three seconds to be exact.

There stood Bella on a beach, her hair wild and her face covered in tears as she stood there, crying her heart out on the sand before the vision zoomed out, giving me a full view of her.

No.

Bella was sobbing- no she was bawling- but that's not what panicked me. She had something held to her chest- something that would most definitely kill her the instant she pulled it.

A gun.

I watched as she slowly offered me a tense smile in her vision, looking up at the cloudy skies above her and it made me wonder what she was doing. All of this was happening at the same moment that I saw it, so there was nothing I could do about this one.

"I love you Alice." She said, her voice clear and firm through her tears. It tore my heart to hear those words, knowing how we'd left her and betrayed her as we had.

"_Alice."_ I could hear my family's worried voices outside the vision, knowing this was a long one. Carlisle was calling me now and Jasper was holding me, telling them to wait a moment before they panicked.

The tears only fell harder from her flat brown eyes- no longer happy, deep and animated.

What had we done?

"I love you Edward." She choked out, sounding strained and very sad. She started to shake as she stood there, still as a statue as she listened to the nothingness- or maybe she heard something in her mind that we didn't…

"Sorry Edward." She whispered, looking ahead before I saw her finger move and she pulled the trigger, a loud cracking boom resounding off the cliffs beside her as she fell to the ground, covered in her own blood.

Dead.

I came back with a gasp of shock right as a roar of unfiltered anguish came from Edward's room, right before something smashed and things started banging.

"Edward!" called Esme, worried for her son's welfare before I started bawling- figuratively, of course. No tears would fall, but I could still go through the motions.

"Ali…" said Jasper worriedly, holding me close and swaying, not knowing what had happened to cause such violent reactions from the two of us.

"What happened?" he asked me gently. "What did you see?"

"Jasper." I gasped out, making him worry through the calm he was trying to send the both of us.

"What happened?" asked Rosalie, looking very confused and worried. Finally a shred of compassion from her. Emmett took her shoulders gently and looked at me for answers as well, just as a loud shattering noise came from the house and Edward went flying through his window, landing just short of Carlisle, who grabbed and contained him.

"NO!" he roared, sounding as desperate as ever. Carlisle struggled with his thrashing son before Emmett stepped in with his steely grip. Edward turned his manic rage on me, wild and desperate.

"You lied!" he cried, angry and anguished.

"I didn't _lie!"_ I shrieked, my own sadness overcoming me. "You saw it too!"

"What Alice?" asked Jasper, pleading with me to talk to him. Edward shocked Emmett by slumping down and bawling- worse than any vampire before him- and Emmett put him down gently, letting him rest on the ground. Edward didn't move as the horrible sobs racked his body- his heart and mind broken.

"What did you see Alice?" asked Carlisle, going into doctor mode.

"Bella." I said simply, making everyone stare. At the name Edward yelled at nothing again and let the sobs continue, making me feel awful.

"What happened to Bella?" he asked gently.

"She's dead!" I shrieked, making my brother curl up in his agony and everyone else stared.

"How?" squeaked Esme, sounding appalled and sadder than ever before.

"She shot herself!" I cried, making her gasp. Carlisle sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking at his broken son.

"Come on Edward." He said kindly, moving over to Edward. Edward, beside himself, let out a ferocious growl of rage, making his father backtrack. Jasper hugged me sadly and let me cry all I wanted, not even stopping the sadness from coming. This needed to come out.

"Alice." He soothed gently, kissing my spiky hair gently, not trying to stop my crying motions. Esme suddenly darted to Edward, and he didn't have the nerve to growl at his mother and he let her do what she wanted with him anyways- whether it be a hug or soothing- even if it wouldn't work.

"She's dead?" asked Rosalie bluntly, making Edward snarl and try to jump at her, only to have Emmett yank her backwards.

"Happy now?" sneered Edward, obviously not rational. Rosalie looked as if he'd smacked her by the look on her face, and she simply stared.

"Fuck you." She snarled, ripping herself from Emmett to dart in the house where she ignored us all. Emmett, shockingly, didn't follow her and simply stood sombrely in the grass, looking like someone had kicked his puppy. Esme took up her oldest son and sat him on her lap, trying to be the mother she posed as for all of us- the mother Edward needed right now. He let his head fall on her shoulder as the tearless sobs racked him- rendering him incapable of rationalities or thought. I stared in shock at my broken brother- once so happy and loving, but now shattered and heartbroken.

Shattered and heartbroken for the rest of eternity.

At my thought, he clutched Esme tighter than ever and tried to block me out, making me feel even worse than I already did.

I slid off into a second vision- one that would make things even more final.

In two days, we would all be standing around a gravestone for Bella Swan- her family and friends all in attendance. Edward would be told off by her distraught father and then, the vision goes blank.

Wolves.

She must have done it on one of their beaches in La Push, and I knew Charlie had some fishing friends on the reservation…

"We have a funeral to attend." I said quietly into Jasper's chest, making everyone nod.

A funeral to attend for the one who'd snagged Edward's heart.

What had we done?


	4. Chapter 4

**Eyes, Look Your Last- Chapter 4**

EPOV

Love.

Life.

Meaning.

Over.

My sister dragged me out to the car from our home in Forks- pulling gently on my arm to urge me forwards. I felt like a baby- like an infant that needed to be cared for- instead of an immortal, century old vampire with a broken heart.

A broken heart that would never mend.

Two days of this nothingness- two days of deep suffering and eternal anguish on my part- had passed before today- the day of the ceremony.

_Her _ceremony.

One I'd thought to be attending years from now instead of minutes. Now, I was stuffed into clothing of Alice's choice while I sat beside my big brother in the back of my Volvo, on our way to the local church where my Bella was to be buried.

Her _funeral._

Emmett sat gravely beside me- unhappy and very torn because of the events of late. He had no idea how to put his family- namely me- back together again after we'd suffered a loss as deep as this one, and he just wanted his family back.

"Edward?" he asked gently, not daring to look at me. Alice drove my car with Rosalie beside her, both women dressed in dark dresses to pay their last respects to my fallen angel- my Bella.

"What?" I asked tonelessly, looking up at my brother with sad eyes. He stared at me for a moment before he shook his head and fell silent, blocking his thoughts from me. I had no energy or will to read anyone's mind so he didn't have to worry about me seeing his head. My thoughts were consuming enough and I didn't need others added to the mix.

My Bella was dead.

Could that really be? Could the beautiful, blushing face of my angel be dead and cold- robbed of her flowery blood and her lovely smile. Could the luminous brown eyes I'd grown to love be so dull and lifeless now? Could her intuitive mind really be gone- to me as well as everyone else? Could her soft, melodic voice be silenced forever- never to speak again, awake or otherwise? Could it truly be that Bella was gone- the only woman I'd ever love and my driving force in this pitiful existence?

The answer was yes.

Yes, my Bella was dead- dead, cold and silenced- safe from me and my hazardous venom that had threatened her so often before. She was gone now- and I planned to follow her- to be gone and dead just like she was. I felt so lost without that angelic face guiding me, and it was impossible for me to continue like I was now. There was nothing I could do to close the hole that her loss had torn in my chest- no amount of Band-Aids, stitches or pain killers could do me any good. She was gone, and so was my life.

Bella had been my life. She still _was _my life.

And my life was dead.

_I _was dead.

"Jasper, Carlisle and Esme are already there." Said Alice gently, glancing at me through the mirror above her.

No response.

"Ok." She said gently, knowing I was in no mood to chat right now. She slowly and hesitantly turned the corner to the church and attached cemetery- where my angel's gravestone stood.

Mourners came from all over the city to grieve for the death of their beloved police chief's daughter. Friends, family and comrades from all around the country were here.

Her friends from school.

Her few friends from Phoenix.

Her friends from the reservation.

Her grandmother from Arizona.

Her heartbroken father.

Her terrorized mother and stepfather.

And now us- the wretched vampires responsible for this heinous death.

Carlisle's car was parked outside the church now too, but he wasn't getting out until he saw us as well. He wanted us to make our entrance together as a family since the wolves were here- not that I cared one bit. Maybe they'd finish me here and now before I had to gaze on the face I loved- the dead face I craved.

"Come on." Said Emmett as if speaking to a small child. He opened his door and slid out, much to the shock of the mourners, but childishly, I remained in the car instead, not wanting to go in there.

I was a coward.

I didn't want to have to see her face- her gentle, happy face turned blank and cold from death's cold embrace.

No. I didn't want to have to grieve.

I wanted to die.

"Edward." Said Emmett, coming around to my side of the car. Rosalie didn't spare me a passing glance as she got out of the car- her thoughts unselfish and compassionate for once in her existence. She felt bad that Bella had died, and she wished she would have handled things better.

But it was too late for reconciliation.

"Edward come on." Said Emmett again, reaching for my door. I let him open it and he frowned, kneeling down beside me. We were attracting a lot of stares now, but I couldn't care less.

Let them all stare. Let them see what a monster I truly was.

Alice got out from her seat and came around as well, false tears falling from her eyes. She had brought eye drops for all of us to use- her practicality coming through in our time of need. She sighed and nudged Emmett out of her way, handing him a bottle for later use. She knelt in front of me and sighed, looking my haggard form over. It had been a while since my last hunt, but bloodlust was the last thing on my mind right now.

"Here." Said my gentle sister, kind and soft as she could be as she tilted my head back and dropped a few of the tears into my dark eyes.

The tears fell from my eyes the moment they were dropped in and it felt oddly right- almost normal. I wanted tears, and these were a decent substitute for the things I'd never have. Alice stared as they fell down my hard cheeks, making small, glittering trails. She dropped more in and I felt them fall, turning my eyes bright and tearful. Emmett had a few in his eyes as well, although not enough to shed. He'd save that for later. Alice had some falling as well and was shaking ever so slightly with shock and sadness.

"Come on." She coaxed gently, getting me nowhere. She could easily yank me out, but that was inconsiderate and unrealistic, so she backed off, looking tearfully for my father.

"Edward." Said Carlisle loudly, his face sad and old as he approached me, handing Esme off to Emmett instead. Jasper took his wife gently and together they waited for me to come out- something I was hellbent on not doing.

"Let's go son." He soothed gently, taking my arm. I saw Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley coming to pay their last respects, and Jessica gasped theatrically when she saw me- her face shocked and eager.

She was disgusting.

"Edward." Said Carlisle, his voice low. He sighed and knew what he had to do, so he took my arms like a kid and shocked the entire congregation by lifting me out of the car with his brute strength, setting me on my feet before he closed the door and Alice locked the door with the remote, sighing sadly. I stood there as Carlisle made it his job to guide me inside, where I knew I wasn't welcome.

I walked through the people, not listening or caring about their thoughts and gasps of shock and pity- my face thrown back at me by many different people- worn, haggard, yet still handsome as ever, in their minds. The only mind that crossed mine that I didn't hate was Angela Weber- Bella's one true friend. Her father would be doing the service today, and she was filled with sad remorse for her friend and her untimely fate. She felt pity for Alice, Esme and myself, all of whom she'd seen "crying", and I appreciated her for it. She stood silently in the corner- dressed nicely and appropriately, simply watching the people pass her by.

When we finally reached the interior of the church, I felt all the emotions come flying back at me like a ton of bricks.

Open casket funeral.

There she was- her face uncovered and her beautiful life gone. She laid in her dark coffin with a bluish tinge to her skin and her creamy eyelids closed over her brown orbs that would never be seen again. Her eyes had closed for the final time, and it hurt to think about it.

"Edward." Said Jasper lowly, sensing my grief. I ignored that and stood against the back wall of the church, staring at my angel.

Oh Bella.

Why did she have to do this to herself? Why did she have to be the one to shoot herself in cold blood- taking her own life without regret or forethought? Had she really loved me that much that it drove her to suicide?

Suicide. It hurt to think the word.

Her face was unmoving, her body rigid and still with the final release of death- one I pined for. I listened as hard as I could, but nowhere in this building could I hear the familiar thumping of the heart I'd adored so much.

And I'd never hear it again.

The waves of pain came crashing down on me, drawing me into my own personal hell filled with fiery demons and angry flames that lapped at me, trying to draw me into their grasp. I drew in a giant gasp of air that caught my mother's attention immediately and she forced Carlisle to let her go so she could hug me- the monster responsible for this horrendous crime.

"Shh." She soothed, loving and gentle. She didn't care that my entire weight fell onto her shoulder and I wept- wept like a small child instead of an ancient man.

"Esme." Said Carlisle, thinking about our human pretense. Humans were staring at me now, and Esme was pretending to struggle under my weight. Carlisle stepped in instead and I didn't care. The weeping continued and a few more drops from Alice's bottle fell from my eyes, staining his shirt. He didn't care as he attempted to soothe me as any father would, and I caught the fleeting pity and utter sadness from the gathering crowd inside the church. Alice let Jasper hug her tightly for both moral and emotional support, although her emotions were doing little to calm his own in this crowded room.

"Dr. Cullen." Said a voice- one that belonged to my angel's distraught father. Carlisle nodded briefly.

"We're sorry Charlie." Said Carlisle, speaking for both of us. Charlie stared at me in shock for a moment, his thoughts torn between rage and pure pity, seeing how upset I was.

"She loved you." He told me gruffly, his own natural tears falling. I caught his distress when the emotional breakdown on my part only worsened, not improved.

"Right." He said, sounding confused and disconnected. He glanced at my entire family before a small, black haired blur hit him with her own tears, making Charlie sigh.

"Alice." He said fondly, right as we caught a whiff of the La Push pack.

"What the hell?" demanded a loud, distraught voice- one that belonged to one Jacob Black.

"Charlie?" asked this boy- staring at Charlie incredulously. Charlie hugged Alice's tiny body tightly.

"The Cullens heard, Jake." Said Charlie sadly. "Don't start." He warned, making the brute's father usher him to the front. Three more wolves followed suit- one Embry Call, Quil Ateara and the Alpha, Sam Uley. I learned quickly to keep out of his head when I got a mental replay of Bella's failed rescue attempt on the beach.

"Dr. Cullen." Said Sam, being cordial and kind.

"Sam." Said Carlisle, ignoring the incredulous duo behind the Alpha male. Sam simply nodded and forcibly dragged his pack along to the front, seating them beside Jacob and his wheelchair-bound father. Charlie went and hugged his friend gently, making the old wolf-father sigh gently. Soon, another sound could be heard- and it tore my heart to pieces.

A loud wail was heard outside the doors and no one looked, knowing that Renee Dwyer had arrived- and she was absolutely crushed. Sure enough, the mother of the deceased came into the church, supported by her husband who looked shocked and very upset by this sudden turn of events. When she caught sight of the casket up front, she bawled louder than ever before and her husband carried her up to the front row beside Charlie, whom she hugged and cried on. Charlie would usually be awkward with her, but now, he could care less. The one thing that had bonded them together was gone- her life stolen my an ill-fated bullet.

"Isabella Marie Swan was born on September 13, 1988 right here in Forks." Started the minister.

I couldn't listen.

Carlisle sat us down in the back pew, all alone and silent as Alice subtly handed us more tears and even Emmett let his fall, making him look very depressed indeed. Esme sat right me between her and her husband so she could hug and attempt to soothe me, even if her efforts were in vain. I leaned my oddly sore, cramped head on her shoulder and let her play in my hair affectionately- just as mothers loved to do to their children. She held my hand tightly and simply listened as the minister went on about Bella's life and how she loved to do certain things, like reading. Tears were falling thick and fast from all who showed up- the front row in particular. The wolf who'd been angry with me- Jacob Black- was almost bawling beside Charlie, and it almost hurt me to see.

Almost.

After the minister, Bella's mother went up, crying and borderline hysterical and delivered a well prepared speech about her baby girl- the one she'd raised and loved from day one. She spoke of her childhood ballet lessons, her love for reading, her rational mind and her incredible intuition and maturity. She cried throughout her speech, and so did I, even if the bottle of tears had run out long ago.

Charlie had come after that, and he was gruff and to the point- just as always. I knew Bella got her blush from him, and to my shock, he remained pale and unblushing as he addressed the crowd that had come to pay their respects, speaking of her life and times with him instead of her mother. When it came to her move to Forks, it hurt to remember all he was saying. He even mentioned me once and I saw the wolf-boy tremble in rage at my mention, but he held his tongue. Charlie gave me a sad nod and a few heads turned, some shocked to find us here. I waited and listened, completely oblivious to Esme's attempted comfort right now.

Next, the wolf boy came and spoke to us all, telling us of how they'd made mud pies as kids and how he'd always had a crush on her even when she was small. He spoke of how when she had fallen into a depression, he'd helped her out by distracting her and the two had become good friends.

I'd made her_ depressed._

I was a wretch. A lowly, cowardly, disgusting wretch.

Jacob explained all sorts of things they'd done together from fixing cars to riding motorcycles down the paths of La Push. Charlie Swan held some anger when he heard that but it abated quickly when Jacob went on to explain how she'd seemed to be getting better before they started to drift apart.

From his transformation. That's what had threw her over the edge. Her boyfriend had been a vampire, and now her friend was a werewolf.

We were disgusting.

The minister returned and spoke of the journey of death, speaking cryptically since no one knew what it would be like to die. No one knew what happened after death, but I hoped to find out soon, once and for all.

The last portion of the service was the hardest, that's for sure. Her mother, father and friends had prepared some sort of video montage as a tribute to Bella and it would be played as people paid their respects at the coffin itself.

"Come on." Mumbled Carlisle, gripping my arm. I tried to resist, but he brought me closer, knowing this had to be done. I had to see her one last time before he beautiful face was covered for the rest of time- stuck forever underground, her place marked with a tombstone.

I walked up to the casket, and I was shocked to find that there wasn't a long line- most couldn't handle seeing her like this, and I didn't blame them. Charlie and Renee stood outside the church with their family and friends, already having said their goodbyes to Bella.

I waited with my family in tow. I would be the last to see her before she was carried out of here in her wooden tomb- forever encased underground.

"Edward?" said the Mr. Weber gently. He smiled sadly and nodded, knowing Dr. Cullen's family wouldn't deface her or her coffin in any way, and left the room, giving us some private moments.

"Anyone left?" asked Charlie gruffly, sad and depressed.

"The Cullens." Said Mr. Weber gently. Charlie simply sighed and fell silent, letting us have our moment.

I let Alice go first and she shook as Jasper went with her, letting her whisper something to the corpse of her best friend- the one I'd stolen from her so soon. She kissed her cheek one last time- a classic Alice move- and stepped down, allowing Carlisle and Esme through with Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett and Rosalie said nothing, but Rosalie gripped the dead hand gently in an apologetic move, wishing she could change how things had turned out. Esme patted her soft hair gently and Carlisle simply stared, following Emmett's example. The two men dragged their wives away and all six of them walked towards the back of the church, waiting for me to say goodbye.

How did I do that? How did I say a final goodbye to her so soon? How was I supposed to let her go?

That's right. I couldn't.

I felt like my legs were made of lead as I forced them to propel me forwards towards the coffin gently, preparing myself for what would be the hardest moment of my existence. Bloodlust couldn't compare to the internal struggle going on now, and I knew this was it.

This was goodbye.

"Bella." I murmured, my voice rough and hoarse from crying and lack of use. My family was sad behind me as I approached even closer, moving around to her head. Her brown hair was arranged perfectly around her heart shaped face, her luscious lips pale and bloodless as she rested- eternally resting.

I felt the sobs surfacing as I stared at her face, childishly hoping she would wake up and show me her brown eyes. I wanted her heart to beat and her lungs to work- for her body to stop being so still and flush with the blood of life- the thing she'd never have again. I felt a choked sob escape as I kissed her delicate forehead, feeling its coolness against my lips. I took her hand gently and examined it- white as my own flesh and almost as cold- but still delicate and perfect. I took up a strand of her hair and held it gingerly, leaning over to smell her shampoo- strawberries. Her shampoo was mixed with the old scent of her blood- lavenders and fresh freesias, and it was heart wrenching to know that her scent, her everything was gone. _She _was gone.

"I love you." I murmured, earning a strangled noise from my mother and youngest sister behind me. I kissed her delicate lips gently and wished vainly that they would respond- that she would awaken and kiss me back instead of remaining dead in her coffin.

Then, I did the hardest thing I could have possibly done.

Slowly, as if my feet were bolted to the floor, I forced them to move me away from my angel- to leave her in her box to be buried alongside the others who'd died here in Forks. I watched her face get further and further away from me, to leave her body behind as her soul flew freely in heaven- the place I would never be.

No worries. I'd follow her anyways and go wherever I was allowed to be. Better to keep this sorrow to myself instead of inflicting it on my family too.

"Are you done?" asked the pastor, coming back in with Charlie and Renee. Renee caught sight of me and her tears increased tenfold as she moved closer to me, reaching into her pocket.

"Here." She said, her voice barely understandable to my ears. She held out her fist, offering me whatever was in there. I reached out with shaking hands and she smiled, dropping a small, golden chain into my hands.

"It was hers." She said gently, letting me look. It was a child's necklace- one that kids got for Christmas or birthdays, and this one was special. Renee couldn't say anything before I felt my heart shatter all over again and Carlisle grabbed me before I fell and dented the church floor.

"Thank you." I rasped through the sobs, making her mother pat my back gently as she moved over to close the casket on my angel's face.

"Come on." Mumbled my father, trying to push me forwards. I moved rigidly and when we got outside, I moved to the cemetery beside us. The wolves were there, and I couldn't bear to see them right now. Before I could get away, the one named Jacob stormed over, shaking and angry.

"Jacob." Said Sam warningly, eying me with distaste nonetheless.

"Happy now, Cullen?" spat the angry wolf. I felt a pang of anger towards this creature, but nothing was worse than the grief.

"No." I admitted honestly, trying to turn. The wolf appeared in front of me, snarling and crying, his eyes spilling with his tears.

The one thing I could never do.

"You killed her." He snarled, making me stare.

"You left her, and now she's dead!" he roared, trying to lunge at me. I stood, facing the raging beast, as he shook, wanting him to phase.

Finish me then.

"You killed her!" he said again, his thoughts almost manic with his intense guilt and grief. I heard Jasper snarl behind me at the guilt he was amplifying in me, but before anyone could get hurt. Sam Uley dashed forwards and dragged the irate wolf away from me, not wanting a war.

"He's just upset." Said Sam reluctantly, earning an enraged snarl from Jacob. Sam didn't let Jacob speak before he used his Alpha power to send Jake to the graveside, where she would be buried.

"Edward." Said Alice's sad, squeaky voice behind me, tugging on my shirt. I shocked everyone and myself by stumbling backwards and falling down as she pulled- something our kind never did. Even Sam Uley was shocked, and I couldn't say I blamed him. Carlisle leaned forward to pull me up, just as the casket was being brought out- closed and sealed. I felt a hole tear in my chest and Jasper frowned in intense worry before I was pulled to my feet, grabbing a wild daisy on the way. I wanted to put flowers with Bella, but a daisy wouldn't suffice. Nonetheless, I gripped that floral weed as if the world depended on it and I felt Carlisle trying to push me to the cars. I couldn't watch them put her in the ground- my selfless angel wouldn't be buried while I was watching, and I marched right along with my father, my legs uncooperative and stiff.

"Edward." Said Carlisle, sounding very distant and muffled. He noticed I wasn't answering and insisted that I drive with him and Esme instead of my siblings, so Jasper took my place in the Volvo.

"Edward." Said Carlisle again, staring at me and my daisy as I flopped into the car.

My angel was gone.

I needed her. Oh, God knew I needed her and her bright smile, her happy laughter, her blushing face. I needed her kisses, her caress, her voice, her heartbeat.

I needed her love.

And that love was dead.

"Can I go for a drive?" I asked stiffly, looking pleadingly at my father. He nodded silently and I smiled to myself, knowing that this would be the last drive I ever took.

"Thank you." I whispered as we pulled into the driveway and I tossed myself out, moving to my Volvo. Alice was getting out, but she was hesitant about letting me drive.

"Please?" I asked, making her sigh and hand them to me, but not before I got a hug from her. Unable to pass up a last hug from my sister, I responded, and she let me go, sad and quiet. I suddenly turned to my mother's watching eyes and dashed forwards, hugging her tightly.

"I love you mom." I said gently, making her frown in confusion.

"I love you too dear." She said gently. Carlisle got one too, and soon, I'd hugged everyone- Rosalie included. This was the last time they'd see me, and I had to go soon before Alice saw and tried to prevent it.

"Bye." I mumbled, taking a last look at my family before I started my Volvo and drove out of the driveway with my daisy in the cup holder- the last link to my Bella.

I drove down the highway, making it to Seattle in record time before I took my flower and marched to the desk.

"One ticket to Volterra." I said, looking the human worker right in the eye. She was "dazzled" as Bella used to say and gave me it without questioning my lack of luggage and the daisy, letting me go to security.

I was over the Atlantic Ocean when I felt my cell phone buzzing on in my pocket. The daisy sat innocently on the pull down table in front of me and I stared at it, sighing as I turned off the phone and let the plane take me to my death.

And to my angel.


	5. Chapter 5

**Eyes, Look Your Last- Chapter 5**

**A/N: First note of the entire story, and its simply to say that this is the last chapter of Eyes, Look Your Last. I enjoyed this short story very much, and I hope you did too. I guess it did end up with a pairing after all, since everyone wanted Edward so badly. The original simply had chapters 1 and 2, but people wanted funerals, Alice, Edward and reunions, so here it is.**

EPOV

I knew I should be scared.

I knew I should be terrified.

But I wasn't.

Here I stood, hidden by the stone buildings on the outskirts of the square in Volterra, simply watching the bustle of the day as the innocent, oblivious humans went about their daily lives. It was laughable that they were completely unaware of the sadistic, grief-stricken beast lurking in the shadows, just waiting for the right moment- for the right soul to creep by me. I knew that one would come close- one would come too close to me- the inexcusable monstrosity of a being- and that would be their end- the end of their days. I couldn't bring myself to care for their feeble life or their meaning in this world? Did they have a family? I didn't care. Children? Still didn't care.

Because she was gone.

My Bella was gone, and I would soon join her.

I watched in the shadows as my grief flowed off of me in torrents. I was shocked that the humans couldn't also feel this strange emotion rolling off of me; it was so strong and violent, nothing could stop it from washing over me like a suffocating blanket of misery.

…_apples at the market. Oh! Look at that poor boy in the shadows, _came the thoughts of one person- a man that was walking down the road. He looked old- perhaps in his sixties, but he walked with confidence. He was English as well, and he was the one.

I saw the brilliant sunlight baking the concrete mere feet from my bare feet as I stripped off my t shirt, wanting to give the humans a sight to behold. A glittering, rabid man would soon be committing murder in front of them, and I needed witnesses.

A lot of them.

"Sir?" I asked just loud enough for him to hear. The man whizzed around and glanced at me, his thoughts hesitant.

Hesitant with good reason.

"Good afternoon son." He said, careful as he approached me and my topless torso. Through my mask of grief, I shot him a menacing smile, showing off my venomous teeth in the nastiest way. He halted and cleared his throat, standing a bit taller, but not as tall as me.

"How can I help you?" he asked, reminding me of a sales clerk.

"You can't." I said simply, speaking the truth to this soon-to-be-dead man.

"Oh." He said, clearly confused. I ignored his thoughts, not wanting my conscious to get to me before I completed the deed.

"Come here." I snapped, watching as he came even closer. I saw a family- a tourist family, by the looks of things, staring right at me as the man approached. A man sent his children into a shop as he observed, making me feel even better.

Two children would be safe from this violent attack. I didn't want to physically harm a child.

They were innocent.

"What is-" started the man, halting when I shot out towards him in a blur, faster than any human ever could.

"What is this?!" bellowed the now-angry man.

"Your worst nightmare." I snarled, baring my teeth again. I saw a cloaked figure appear behind the clock tower and I knew I had to act fast, lest they should let me go and send me home as a courtesy to Carlisle.

"Get away from-" he started, not finishing as my stone body flew out of the shadows, flashing in all its glory. I glittered like a kindergartener's art project gone wrong, and I couldn't care less.

"What are you?" he gasped, his eyes as wide as saucers and his mouth agape. The tiny cloaked figure took down her hood and I saw Jane, glaring angrily.

"Goodbye Francis." I said coolly, getting his name out of his head. The entire square burst into pandemonium when I leaped at the man, my entire body colliding with his old, frail form and crashing us down to the pavement. Blood spilled from his lethal wound as women ran and screamed, men hollered orders, some pulled out phones and more cloaked figures made their approach. I had no desire to drink the old man's blood, so as soon as I killed one, I turned to the rest. No more deaths were necessary, but I could scare them nonetheless.

A woman stared, screaming with her husband at her side, just as I stalked towards her.

"Come here ma'am." I said, hearing the odd kindness my own voice.

But I was still a disgusting monster.

And I wanted the consequences from my choice.

As I stalked the woman, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the wilted daisy, smiling at her. She shrieked when I came closer and I kissed my flower, handing it to her.

She would keep Bella's flower safe.

"Here." I whispered, handing her the white, dying flower.

Maybe I was a white, dying flower too.

The woman took the plant with shaking hands.

"Keep her safe." I pleaded, unable to terrorize the woman. I needed her to care for that flower until the end of her days, and after that, she could hand it down to her children. Her husband seemed to be in shock as he stared at me, then turned to his wife and my flower.

My beautiful, lovely, dying flower…

Something grabbed me from behind, quite nearly tearing my right arm off of my body, and before the stunned, terrified woman could say anything, I was out of sight.

_I don't want to be cursed… _came her thoughts as she made up her mind to keep the daisy safe. I was relieved, since that felt like a matter of vital importance, even if I _was _about to die.

"How dare you?!" hissed Jane's malicious voice in my ear as she restrained from torturing me with great difficulty, not wanting the humans to hear her. I snarled at her as Felix tossed me over his shoulder and I submitted to their transport as we came to the sewers that led the Volturi castle.

My cell phone rang shrilly in the dark corridor but no one paid it any mind as I was tossed bodily upwards and was propelled through the chute, landing in none other than the feeding room itself- where the three coven leaders awaited with livid, cold faces.

"Edward Cullen." Spat Aro, looking at me in disgust.

"Aro." I greeted sombrely. He suddenly reached behind him and yanked out the dead body of Francis, the man I'd murdered. A pang of regret and disgust shot through me as I saw him, bleeding and broken on the floor- the result of my violence.

"What have you done!?" hollered Aro, angrier than ever before. I felt Jane's torture overcome me, and I let out a ragged scream of pain before she was forced to stop, and my phone rang again.

"Answer that." Spat Aro, disgusted. It looked as if Marcus was preventing Caius from lunging at me here and now. I took out the small silver phone and flipped it open.

"Alice." I said, having read the caller ID.

"Oh my God!" came my pixie sister over the other end of the phone. "Come back!" she cried, just as a scuffle began over the other end for the phone- all wanting to speak.

"Alice-" I started, my guilt overcoming me as Aro snatched my phone away.

"Too late." Said Aro calmly over my cell, simply tossing it aside when Alice's shriek of terror passed through our end.

"NO!" she screamed, pleading and sobbing as Aro simply kicked it up against the wall before he came at me.

"You know the punishment for this." He said sombrely, looking me in the eye. I saw in his head that he was willing to give me a reprieve, since Carlisle was a dear friend.

No.

I needed this.

I needed to find my angel and get her back.

I needed Bella.

I snarled and showed my teeth, putting myself in an offensive stance as Alice pleaded over the phone, crying and unintelligible pleas coming to my ears.

"Goodbye Ali." I said gently. Before I could attack Aro, all compassion left him and he turned to Jane and Demitri.

"Finish him." he snarled, his black eyes unforgiving and enraged.

I saw a blur of black and felt the tearing pains all over my body as I was dismembered with the sounds of ripping steel, finally on my way to my angel.

_I love you…_I thought, before the fire started, and for the first time in a century, blackness came.

ooOoo

I woke to the smell of nature- the smell of grass and flowers. It was so familiar, yet so far away at the same time, and I felt myself coming to my senses as I laid there, opening my tired eyes and taking a deep breath.

The skies were a bright blue- the epitome of perfection as the large, fluffy clouds rolled above me. I found myself in a blanket of grass, my peripheral vision overcome with blurs of blue, purple and red.

I sat myself up and slowly looked around me, my mind instantly recognizing the location.

Our meadow.

I was confused, to say the least, but things became much clearer when I glanced to the centre of the meadow and saw what was there- the being that awaited me.

I saw her slender hands clutched to her chest most delicately, caressing a delicate plant that I adored.

My daisy.

_Her _daisy.

Her hands held it gingerly as her face remained downcast towards the flower as she kissed it's soft petals gently, her red lips leaving no blemish on the creamy surface. I sat myself up quietly, observing myself for the first time, noticing I was glittering in the harsh sunlight.

The movement startled the daisy carrying figure and when she looked up, all thought stopped, sending me into the epitome of bliss.

The chocolate pools consumed me entirely and I found myself swimming in their depths, getting lost in their deep, thoughtful mazes. The eyes scrutinized me before a large smile played on her lips, her face lighting up as brightly as ever before as the sun shone down on her, leaving her skin pale and creamy- absolutely flawless. The daisy fell to her side and she stared, slowly putting out her arms to me.

As soon as I darted over, the warmth of the embrace caught me, and I sunk into the arms I'd craved for so long, sitting as silently as ever, neither one of us even daring to breathe in this odd meadow. I felt her warm arms snake up to hug me even tighter and I inhaled her scent of lavender and freesia, revelling in the moment.

My Bella was back.


End file.
